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    Hidilyn Diaz admits battling anxiety, self-doubt amid Malaysia training

    Jun 11, 2020
    PHOTO: Jerome Ascano

    OLYMPIC weightlifter Hidilyn Diaz admitted battling the nerves as she found herself stuck in Malaysia in the middle of the global COVID-19 pandemic.

    "Syempre natakot ako at may anxiety akong nararamdaman kung anong next," the Zamboangueña told So She Did.

    Diaz was neck-deep in her preparations to qualify for the 2020 Tokyo Olympics when the health crisis came, trapping her in Selangor where she has remained for the past three months.

    It wasn't easy, Diaz said, especially with her full focus geared towards improving her silver-medal finish in Rio de Janeiro in 2016 and delivering the country's first ever gold medal in the Olympiad.

    And then, the tough news came in March with the Tokyo Games being pushed back to a year.

    "Nalaman ko na yun nga, yung Olympics na-postpone at yung mga laro ko na-cancel, so frustrated din ako," recounted Diaz.

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    She, however, acknowledged the dangers that the COVID-19 has brought to the world and despite her plans being beset by forces beyond her control, the 29-year-old vowed to continue training herself to be at her best whenever the Games return.

    "Later on, natanggap ko na na hindi natin control ito eh. Hindi natin alam kung hanggang kailan ito, so yung sa akin lang as an athlete, kailangan kong gawin yung kung anong kailangan kong gawing training," she said.

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      "I know how to win already and I know already kung gaano kahirap. Pero siguro mahirap lang gawin, but be consistent and be committed. Mahirap yung disiplina, mahirap yung journey, pero siguro everytime na nahihirapan ako, pupuntahan ko yung sports psychologist ko, ime-message ko siya na, 'Ma'am, medyo ayaw ko na.' Tapos siya ire-remind ako na, 'Hids, ganyan talaga ang training. Kailangan mo lang magpahinga.' May mga time din talaga na parang ayaw ko na, pero yun nga, alam ko na kung paano so kailangan ko lang i-remind sa sarili ko bakit ako nandito."

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      PHOTO: Jerome Ascano
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