TOPEX Robinson came close to breaking down when addressing the alleged spitting incident he found himself embroiled in.
He was called many names, insulted many times over by those in the opposite side of the fence. But for all the vitriol that came his way, the one which he said hurt the most was being called "squatter."
Robinson was never a squatter, referring to those living in conditions of poverty who become informal settlers in the city.
But for those online commenters, calling somebody squatter probably meant having characteristics not associated with decent behavior which are usually - and mistakenly, may we add - reserved for those living in squalid conditions.
In an emotionally-charged post-game press conference following La Salle's triumph over University of the East a week ago, Robinson came to the defense of squatters.
“Kapag po ba squatter, masamang tao?,” the champion coach asked. “Kasi po tinawag akong squatter eh. So hindi ko po alam kung saan nanggaling yun. Pero 'pag squatter po ba, masamang tao na yun?”
Going above the hate
It’s a word that hit close to home, a remark which he felt belittled everything he achieved through the years.
“Parang bumalik ako sa pagkabata ko, na ang dami mong naririnig na nilalait ka ng mga tao kahit wala ka namang ginawa,” he later shared with SPIN.ph, reflecting on the incident days after the UAAP decision was handed down. “Yun yung pakiramdam na ayaw mo nang balikan.”
READ: Topex breaks silence, cries foul after spitting accusations
The UAAP decision was unclear. It did not find Robinson guilty of spitting on the University of the Philippines player Reyland Torres, but at the same time, it did not categorically state there was no spitting at all.
But the incident and the uproar resulting from it brought Robinson back to his youth and the hardships he went through growing up as child of a US Navy father in Olongapo where a huge US naval base was stationed.
“I grew up na iba ang kulay ko,” he shared, as he recalled taunts and glances due to having a different skin color during his time studying at Mabayuan Elementary School and Columban College.
Basketball was the least of Robinson’s concerns then, knowing that it would take a lot for his 5-foot-7 frame to be noticed by anyone on the court.
“Wala talaga akong plano sa basketball. Kaya noong nawala na yung base, gusto ng dad ko na mag-Navy na ako kaya nagpunta na ako ng Guam. Pagdating ko doon, nagtatlong trabaho ako nang sabay-sabay,” he said.
It wasn’t until a friend, Carlos Buhain, noticed him play and asked the then-19-year-old if he wanted to try out in Manila and recommended San Beda.
However, a visit to his friend and a frequent Gapo import Rolly Basilides, who was then playing for San Sebastian, set him off on a different date with destiny.
“Papunta na ako ng San Beda, pero dumaan ako kay Basil ng gabi. Sakto na practice nila, nakita ako ni coach Turo [Valenzona], tapos ang sabi niya sa akin, makisama na ako sa practice nila,” Robinson said.
He never got the chance to cross to Mendiola.
Gotta do what you gotta do
Robinson’s father thought that his son was well on his way to following his footsteps, but Topex’s time in Guam proved to be a short pitstop. He just saved enough money and returned to the Philippines.
“I sacrificed a lot dahil 'di naman ako ganoon ka-supported. Tinutulungan ako ng mom ko, pero talagang ginapang ko yung sarili ko,” he said, chasing his hoop dreams with the Golden Stags, all while trying to be a young father to his son Karlo.
Punching above his height, Robinson knew he had to scratch and claw his way whenever he was on the court. He was a bulldog on defense which made him an important part of the rotation, as he joined a team that won several NCAA championships alongside Ulysses Tanigue, Rommel Adducul, Rodney Santos, and Brixter Encarnacion.
That dogged mentality continued wherever he went. From his time in the Philippine Basketball League (PBL) with Montana and Shark Energy, and even when he slipped to the fifth round of the 2001 PBA Draft, to the time when Red Bull signed him as a free agent, he knew he had to give 100-percent in the short time he’ll be on the floor.
“It was a matter of survival,” he said of his playing style which, to some, may paint him as a dirty player, but for others, see him as one of the best defensive-minded guards in the 2000s.
“Kailangan kong maka-survive kasi ang liit ko. Kung hindi ako lalaban, ano na lang ang mangyayari sa akin?”
Golden return
He was proud to carry that hard-nosed reputation for the entirety of his eight-year PBA career where he also had stops in Purefoods and Alaska. And that also followed when he started coaching his alma mater in 2011.
“I wanted to be Yeng Guiao. I mean, who doesn’t for all the success he’s had?” Robinson looked back, emulating his former fiery mentor when he got his first coaching break in San Sebastian.
Coaches always tell their players to play their game and be themselves. Yet it came to a point Robinson felt like he was the one not following his own instructions.
“Through the years, parang napagod ako, na na-realize ko na hindi pala ako yun. All the while, I was pretending and it came to a point na na-realize ko na hindi ako ito,” he shared.
“I was saying expletives and being tough on the bench and after a while, parang pinagsisisihan ko yung mga sinasabi ko at nagawa ko. Nakonsensya ako and I realized that I have to be myself.”
Robinson remembers Season 89 in 2013, his second stint with the Golden Stags, when he started to feel the need to change for the better.
“Medyo in denial pa ako noon, kasi kilala ako as a tough player, dirty even, and I’m still projecting yung dating sarili ko. Pero noong na-realize ko na hindi ako ganoon, nagbago na ako,” he said of that time when he had the likes of CJ Perez, Bradwyn Guinto, and Leo de Vera in Recto – a crew which he affectionately called as a group of no-namers who were in a relentless pursuit of in his favorite quote, ‘sharpening the saw.’
Getting to 'Love. Serve. Care.'
Having that catharsis enabled him to adapt a fresh, new mentality, bannering the battlecry of love, serve, and care as he moved to Lyceum, and eventually his next stops in Phoenix in the PBA and now in La Salle.
“Na-align yun sa faith ko, na in a way, nagkaroon ng purpose yung ginagawa ko,” Robinson said.
“All the while, I was playing for survival 'cause I have to project this image na kung maliit ako at wala akong tapang, ano na lang ang gagawin ng kalaban sa akin? It was survival instinct.
"But I realized later on that I don’t have to do that anymore, na I don’t have to wear that mask and napagod na ako to pretend to be someone that I wasn’t. That old self, I don’t like that person and I don’t want to be that person anymore.”
Of course, it was hard for many to believe the shift. Heck, Enrico Villanueva, Robinson’s close friend and old Red Bull teammate, even doubted his sincerity about preaching love.
But ultimately, the purpose he posited turned into action.
“Nakita ko yung changes on how my players were playing, na dumating sa point na kaya nila gustong manalo is dahil na sa ginagawa ko sa kanila. Doon ko na-realize na this approach works,” he said.
Go and do you
It’s a complete 180 for Robinson, who admitted to abusing the kindness of his coaches at times, especially that of Leo Austria in their time together with Shark Energy.
As he put it, “Ang bait ni coach Leo and I can say na inaabuso ko yung kabaitan niya dati. Kaya alam ko na ayokong maging mabait kasi aabusuhin din ako ng players ko. Pero na-experience ko dito na at the end of the day, yung totoong ikaw talaga, mas naging magaan sa loob ko.”
Kindness doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll easily back down, and as Robinson realized, it has made his players stick together and stand up for one another.
That’s why to him, he’ll always look first to his mistakes rather than his achievements when it comes to teaching his wards, as he wants them to learn lessons from his shortcomings – all in the hope of being better versions of themselves.
“Kung ano yung pagkakamali ko when I was playing, yun ang sinasabi ko sa kanila because how can I impact their lives if they don’t see the flaws that I made that they shouldn’t repeat?,” he said.
“I didn’t have it easy and I know I had to fight to survive. Everything you see in me, I worked hard for. But that was in the past and I know where I went wrong and I don’t want to be that person again,” he said.
“Pwedeng magbago ang tao kung gugustuhin niya. You just have to decide and commit to it and this is what I am now.”
Most importantly, for all the wars he's been through, whether on the court or in the game called life, Robinson is at peace.
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