PODCAST: I hate myself for what I did, says apologetic Balkman
Petron import Renaldo Balkman apologizes to Arwind Santos' wife Ivette after the incident. Jerome Ascano

“IT was in the heat of the moment, I was frustrated, I hate myself for what I did. Everybody sees me as a bad person. But, that’s not me, that’s not me.”

With those words, Petron import Renaldo Balkman started to issue an apology and explain his actions after his infamous meltdown on Friday when he confronted referees, shoved teammates and coaches, and attacked Boosters star Arwind Santos.

In an exclusive interview with Spin.ph, Balkman said he merely wanted to complain to the referees and took offense when teammates Ronald Tubid and Santos tried to hold him back, saying he is not used to being touched by other people.

"That was why I was telling them, 'Don't touch me!'" he said.

Still, he admitted that is no excuse for his behavior during the final seconds of a 73-83 loss to league-leader Alaska, where he also shoved both Tubid and assistant coach Biboy Ravanes.

“I am a professional, I am not supposed to do that. I already apologized to Arwind (Santos), his family and my teammates, including our bosses," said the apologetic import.

“Everybody does something once in a life, they’re not supposed to do At the time I blanked out and went at it,” the former New York Knicks added. “It’s my first time ever in my entire life to do that."

Balkman is willing to apologize to every body and hopes that Petron’s management and the Filipino basketball loving fans will give him another chance.

The exciting cager also vowed to be a better man not just on the court but off it.

“Everybody sees me as a bad guy now, yes I know I am the bad boy tonight. But I feel sorry for it. I am just passionate and I hate losing,” he said.

“My consequences are crazy now, but I have to deal with it."

Listen to the complete interview here: Balkman apologizes for meltdown

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