SINCE it’s off season for most tri-heads, there’s a questionable amount of maintenance training going on, which leaves the lazy majority dragging themselves to the pool, road, or track to get in some semblance of exercise, knowing all too well that the next A-race won’t be till several months. It would help if there were some targets to go after, though a counterbalance to binge eating and drinking through the holidays doesn’t sound like bad motivation. It can’t be helped: triathletes crave training in all its paddling, pedaling, and pavement-pounding forms.
The great thing about training with teammates and friends is that you get to know more about them from the questions they ask and the issues they gripe about. So I’ve put together a few of the more common and some otherwise interesting queries I’ve heard over the past months and, while wearing my Dear Abby hat, dish out what the reader can call good, bad, or ugly advice. I would have wanted to premise this article with a contrite ‘Don’t Get Me Wrong’ — but I won’t. Read at your own risk.
Here goes:
What is the protocol for sharing swim lanes, joining group rides, and running on a track?
Ah, the protocol question. With more people getting into multi-sport in the last few years, you’re bound to encounter those who are either ignorant or arrogant of the proper rules of conduct. Here’s a quick and dirty guide to sharing space that can win you friends and avoid getting the stink eye the next time you swim, bike, or run.
Swim
Sharing a swim lane is a good way to make new friends. Before even entering the water, make sure you politely ask the lane occupants if you can be accommodated. Pick a lane that has swimmers whose swim speed and capacity approximate yours. This will allow you to pace yourself and get the workout that you need, while not losing patience over a slow swimmer or suffer from hyperventilation trying to keep up with or staying out of the way of a fast one. Ideally, you want to swim counter-clockwise and leave enough space between swimmers. Move over to the side when resting between sets so that you are not in the way of anyone, lest you risk getting kicked by a well-placed flip turn.
Bike
Group rides are common among cycling and triathlon clubs/teams that normally schedule such exertion excursions on weekends. There are occasional guest riders, but this normally requires clearance from the team in-charge. If you so happen to be a guest rider, make sure that you give due notice and secure clearance from the group you are joining. Don’t just show up and hope to be welcomed with open arms. Your sponsor, or the person who invited you, has the responsibility of introducing you to the other riders, and to either ride with you or entrust you to a willing teammate.
Remember the rules of courtesy when riding in a pack. Don’t insert yourself in the peloton/pack without motioning and getting approval. And always join from the rear. Nobody likes trespassers. It’s not just a social issue at stake, but more importantly, a safety issue. If you have little or no experience in pack riding, you have no business being there. You could turn out to be the source of ill feelings, or worse, an accident.
This is not the Tour de France or Giro d’Italia, so keep a safe distance from the rider in front and beside you. Do not attempt to surge ahead and race, or lead a stronger pull than what’s maintained when it’s your turn up front. Nobody likes a show-off. Do your part when it’s your turn to pull, but be mindful of your own capacity: pull only according to the effort you can sustain before dropping back, or stay at the tail altogether and keep your distance. Finally, always thank the group leader after the ride; this will give you a better chance of getting re-invited in the future.

Run
If you ever find yourself running on a track oval, just remember to keep right at all times to ensure the Kenyans and other fleet-footed mammals access to the fast lane. The inner lanes, normally the first and second, are reserved for the faster runners; so if your last name isn’t Gebrselassie or Goucher, keep to the periphery. Similar to vehicular traffic, the left side/lane is considered the passing lane — at least in countries where people drive on the right side of the road. Always call out your position to the runner(s) ahead before passing. A simple but politely delivered ‘On your left’ or the more descriptive ‘Runner on your left’ gives the runner(s) in front of you enough time to veer right and give you the space needed to safely pass. The same practice of traffic flow and passing lanes holds true during foot (road or trail) races.
My running partner has an awful habit of taking selfies during our training runs, but what really gets me is when he has to take them during actual races. During a recent half-marathon, we kept stopping at the oddest landmarks just so he could take pictures of himself. This habit really cripples the momentum and is, at times, downright embarrassing. How do I prevent this from happening in the future?
Kill him.
Is there such a thing as pasma? Is it safe to take a cold shower after working out or a hard run?
In my storied athletic career, pasma has to be one of the stupidest health-related myths I have ever come across. It’s right up there with the ‘no beer before and after races’ rule. Pasma, whose etymology comes from the Spanish word Espasmo, meaning spasm, is one of those bastardized Spanish words that have taken an entire meaning and life of their own once adapted into the local colloquialism. Case in point: Lamierda, or in its original and (im)proper form, la mierda. I caution you not to use this in front of Spaniards when referring to the act of going for a stroll or gallivanting, because you’re in for a very big surprise if you do. But back to your question...
I’ve heard about the pasma phenomenon as a young boy from my mom and our house help, and from old-school athletes and pick up basketball players in my adult years. Why, just the other day, I overheard someone say that she wouldn’t immediately take a bath because she was really tired and reasoned, ‘Baka mapasma ako.’ I was so tempted to ask her what would actually happen when someone ‘gets pasma’ (excuse the colegiala-speak), since I’d heard that its manifestations range from headaches and engorged veins to pneumonia and epileptic seizures. I have yet to hear of a clinically reported case of pasma. To my vast and virtually limitless knowledge, thanks mainly to Wikipedia, pasma is ‘not described in medical textbooks, discussed in medical schools, or generally recognized by contemporary medical science.’ But, hey, if you don’t mind the smell of your own funk, and don’t care that it might bother anyone within your airspace, wait half a day before you take that shower. Use lukewarm water, just to be sure.
And, yes, you will get sick if you run in the rain.
My teammates and I often carpool for out-of-town races. What’s the right way of divvying up expenses for gas and toll?
Don’t take any chances: Use a calculator.
How do we treat team/club members who arrive late for ride outs, or for functions that require them to come on time?
What would you say if I told you one reason the country is in its deplorable state is because of tardiness? You snooze, you lose. It’s a question of basic respect for other people’s time. I once had a discussion about promptness with a co-manager at work, which left me nothing short of infuriated. I took it upon myself to politely request him, a perennial latecomer, to make an effort to come on time. His unapologetic reply? ‘Let them (the other attendees) wait. They can’t start the meeting without me anyway.’ Mother chucker! Why don’t you become a politician instead, since you’re halfway to becoming the center of the universe?
I have only one piece of advice: Leave them. There’s no reason to wait for them if the rest of the group did their part to be on time. But show consideration by leaving word on itinerary, contingency, and contact information for emergencies. Hopefully, the latecomer(s) will address their tardy habit and help make the Philippines a world-beater in the next lifetime.
My male teammate recently remarked that there are more camel toes at triathlons than at an Arabian Desert caravan. The rest of the team burst into laughter and agreed with his observation. I seemed lost in the exchange, and didn’t know how to react. What should I have said?
The next time he makes a similar comment, tell him that there are even more moose knuckles at the same events than there are during hunting season in Canada.
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Just Asking
Why is it that entire teams shave their heads to show solidarity? Is a bare noggin or crew cut a sign of sacrifice, or just a temporary surrender of aesthetic vanity in the name of fraternity?
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“Adapt what is useful, reject what is useless, and add what is specifically your own.”
- Bruce Lee
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