Cosplayer, weightlifter, and mental health warrior, a very Nyaaati story

Behind her muscular and confident exterior, Nyaaati carries a heavy burden
by Carlos Pineda | Aug 17, 2023

A hundred kilograms isn't the heaviest that Nyaaati lifted

EVER SINCE her grade school days, Nat aka Nyaaati was fond of anime and video games. Out of curiosity, she went to a convention and from there an inspiration arised.

"I want to try cosplaying," said the young Nat.

By her early teens, Nat decided to finally start her journey. With only limited resources, she started cutting black pillowcases to create Tifa Lockhart's outfit.

In her very first cosplay event, she never garnered any fanfare or attention as she didn't have Tifa's signature hairstyle.

"No one recognized me and I had no wig. It was really bad," she recounted.

But that never deterred her, as Nat was surrounded with her close peers. Just like in anime, the power of friendship kept her rejuvenated.

"I didn't feel sad or anything. I was with my best friend at the time and I just had fun. I didn't go to the con with the mindset that, 'Oh, I want my photos taken. I was like, 'I just want to dress up like this character and go to a con," she revealed in an exclusive with Spin.ph

Fast forward to 2023 and Nat somewhat perfected Lockhart's costume. Her hair wasn't able to capture Tifa's actual look, but it manages to leave an impression.

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But it wasn't just her Tifa cosplay that caught the attention of the community as Nat became renowned for her 2B (Nier: Automata), Damien Wayne (Robin), Devil May Cry's Lady, and Kill la Kill's Ryuko Matoi outfits.

The latter two became viral on Reddit and Twitter, forcing her to create her cosplay page.

But besides cosplaying, Nat hustles and grinds her way as she juggles between her freelancing, graphic design, cat rescuing, and powerlifting journey, and it is through her weight training and powerlifting life, where Nat became renowned for being the muscular cosplayer in conventions.

And while she ends up being worshipped for her biceps, Nat initially didn't live a healthy lifestyle.

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The fitness journey

Nat's venture into the real world saw her grinding across careers, from graphic design, freelancing, and cosplaying. During her down sessions, she would spend hours playing video games.

But if things get extremely stressful, her first instinct is to overeat.

Things grew worse when the pandemic came as Nat's life was full of uncertainty.

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"Then the pandemic happened and I also moved out. I live on my own, meaning the stress of living on your own, like the expenses and everythings comes with it. One of the ways I deal with stress is by stress eating. So I'd eat around 12 packs of instant noodles a day. In the end, I gained a lot of weight," she explained.

Seeing how unhealthy she became, Nat became motivated to change her lifestyle.

"I kind of didn't like how I looked, so I started working out at home and dieting. I was also looking to do something more, aside from bodyweight training and calisthenics and then I bought more things, like adjustable dumbbells and other equipment."

And so her fitness journey began. To aid her, she asked professional help.

"Then there's a group I was a part of on Facebook and I was looking for a coach or a nutritionist and someone commented, his name is Paulo (Reyes). He was like, ‘Oh, you can message me if you're curious. I can try to help you a bit.’ He ended up becoming my coach and he is still my coach until now. He specializes in powerlifting," revealed Nat.

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But Paulo wasn't just Nat's personal coach as he was also her inspiration. As the pandemic lockdown eased, she was given the chance to go to the mall and workout. From there, Paulo would mentor her and he would encourage Nat to attend powerlifting competitions in the Philippines.

"I watched him compete, I think last year for the Dewfoam Raw Nats around July or August and then, after I saw him compete alongside a couple of my friends from that same gym, it looked really cool. Like everyone looked so strong," reflected Nat.

And so came a lightbulb moment of integrating powerlifting exercises in her regimen.

"Even though you're just doing only one rep, specifically a really heavy weight compared to your body weight, I was like, oh, that's really cool. I kind of want to do that!" said the cosplayer.

"So after that comp, I talked to Paulo again and I was like, ‘What if we still keep aspects of the bodybuilding part, but can we incorporate a lot of powerlifting kinds of, like, training? So yeah, that's how it started."

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Dealing with mental health issues

While it may seem that Nat's life has been doing well, a deeper introspection into her social media feed would reveal her struggles with mental health issues. Nat lifts a lot of heavy weights, even deadlifting 100 kg of weight, but the feeling of anxiety and depression looming within her is more burdensome given its emotional and psychological impact.

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Her experience with her previous relationship accounted to her declining mental state as Nat's anxiety issues worsened to the point where she was diagnosed with depression and Borderline Personality Disorder.

"I had an ex-boyfriend and he was not the best, and I think what developed from that was critical severe depression. I always have to put it out there that it is diagnosed because I see so many people who are like, ‘Oh I'm depressed or you can feel depressed, but again it's different from being depressed."

She added: "But with depression, it's always there. You can always try to do things to counter it, or to keep it at bay. The anxiety, again, varies from person to person as well, so I can't really say for everyone."

And between depression and anxiety, Nat revealed that the latter was more difficult.

"But the anxiety is for me the harder part to deal with because for some people, it's more if they get anxious over particular things. I know me and my one friend, we're just like, oh, we're anxious over the idea of living day-to-day," opined Nat.

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It was a struggle for Nat to constantly be surrounded with negativity but her newfound love for fitness and health would serve as a beacon of optimism. While the whole world would seem to crash in front of her, Nat would look back at what she accomplished.

Just like the old saying, fall down seven times, rise by eight.

"Like when you look back at your lifts, for example, you're gonna fail lifts. Let's say, 60 kilos, or 80, an 80 kg deadlift used to be so hard for me how many months ago, or like a year ago, and now it's like my warm up weight."

"So it's a different form of strength, being happy mentally, which is, in my opinion, that's pretty good, really," reflected the graphic designer.

Because of powerlifting, Nat tends to forget her problems as the activity requires a high level of concentration. As she dug deep into the scene, Nat found a new passion in life.

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"You have to be strong mentally to be able to maintain that strength. You can still look back at being physically strong to a certain degree."

And due to her overall experience, she realized that having a physical activity likewise helps in boosting one's mental fortitude.

"I think everyone should try to find an activity that's a bit more physical compared to like just playing video games, for example. You can do both. Mostly for health and mental reasons, because it does help you mentally."

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Breaking stigmas

Nat's display of strength isn't just limited to the amount of weights she carries. Being open about her struggles with anxiety and depression display her courage, especially when one encounters the misconceptions surrounding it.

The added stress of being attacked on social media may seem like an added deadweight for Nat, who would constantly receive insensitive comments on her struggles.

"There are people who would say, ‘You just want attention, or you just need to go out and touch grass, and I'm like, ‘Listen, I go out nearly every day to see the gym and sometimes I walk home, I don't need to touch grass," she revealed.

"That really isn't the case because you don't really want attention. You feel severely depressed or anxious to the point where you feel severely helpless. Another one is they just don't believe that it's real, or they really downplay it."

Then there are some who would romantically view mental health issues.

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"There was a guy one time who was literally like, ‘Oh you have depression, that's so cute. Don't worry, I'll take care of you. And I'm like, ‘No, that's not how it works," she said.

But it's more than just mental health where Nat gets harassed. As she displays photos of her cosplaying while flexing her biceps, a bunch of sexist comments would appear to ridicule her physique.

And just like with how she dealt with randos belittling her mental health struggles, Nat isn't afraid to call them out.

"If they are outright rude or being sexist or whatever, it's either I block them (depending on my mood) I'll either block them or I will reply and tell them that they're being a very awful human being. I will be as rude to them like what they give to me I will give back the same energy."

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Being appreciative of one's body

Despite her aggressive approach towards her critics, Nat is never fazed to confidently show her hardwork in the gym, in fact she feels more motivated especially when her community idolizes her.

During conventions, Nat can be seen lifting other cosplayers and con-goers as if they're barbells.

"I guess one reason why I do like my big arms is because I really appreciate it when people tell me, ‘Your arms are goals. Especially during the con, there were some girls who were like, can you have a picture with you? Can you flex during the pic? I'm like, okay." a humbled Nat revealed.

But it wasn't just about drawing admiration or gaining a new set of fans or followers for Nat as she wishes to convey a profound message to those who feel insecure about their appearances.

"I also don't like the idea that some people are like, ‘Oh, you're too buff or like you work out, but why are you not slender?’ Like my waist is okay, but I know my arms are kind of big, but I like my arms like that. I don't care what they say," reflected Nat.

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"If a guy has big arms, they're like, yeah, that's cool, but I know some women, they get insecure about their arms because they're like, ‘Oh it looks so fat, or it looks big."

"I just want people to be more appreciative of all body types for men and women," opined Nat.

Based on her statements and advocacies, this Nyaaati cosplayer is definitely waifu material.

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