Before her cosplaying career, Krystel was once bullied as 'ugly'

"I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE SO UGLY!"

As someone who was undergoing puberty during her youth, those words shattered the then 12-year-old Krystel. She didn't deserve to be humiliated by her bully who mentioned those hurtful words in front of everyone inside the classrom.

After all, she was just doing her job as a class officer to keep everyone civil, she didn't even throw insults at her bully.

Upon hearing those words, Krystel went straight to the bathroom, overflowing with tears.

"Those years were puberty stage, so all of those comments really got to me especially as a girl growing up, changes like pimples everywhere," reflected Krystel to SPIN.ph

And when comparing her youth to that of her siblings, a stark contrast can be seen.

"Inside I wasn't the nicest looking person and being told that I was ugly straight in front of the class, it took a hit to my self-esteem, especially knowing that my brother and sister were known to be really good looking people in their school batches."

"So growing up, I always felt like I was the black sheep because they were never really bullied because of their looks, and then they were also very athletic. My sister was a cheerleader, and my brother was the captain of the football varsity team."

It was difficult for Krystel who studied in a high school, renowned for their athletic and sporting programs. She was the odd one who prefers to spend her time watching anime or professional wrestling, playing video games, creating art, and cosplaying.

Her hobbies were also her way of dealing with the problems she encounters in life, but among all of them, it was cosplaying where the floodgates opened for Krystel.

But earlier in her career, things weren't easy for the young Krystel who was struggling to come to terms with herself.

PHOTO: Bernard Garbo

Her first convention

The stigma during her youth was something she had to deal with, as Krystel hid her passion and love for anime. Barely do people in her school know that she collects a lot of anime DVDs and merchandises, enhanced by her belief of Yugi Mutou's heart of the cards or the transition that Kouya Marino had from Garuda Eagle to Phoenix.

Like Yami Bakura, her true colors remain hidden.

"Back when I was in grade school and high school, I was pretty closetted especially when it came to anime. Back then, a lot of people would clump you in as 'losers.' If you like anime, people will just side-eye you and wouldn't hang out with you because they think you're weird," she reflected.

It was a struggle for Krystel to fully embrace herself and even her first experience inside a convention was something that only a handful knew.

And upon entering the venue, a lightbulb moment awaits her. Her experience was like opening a wardrobe en route to a mystical world.

"There was a time, when I first went into a convention, I didn't know that cosplaying was a thing. So I think the first time I went to a convention, I was 7th grade, I went with a friend. I saw a lot of people wearing costumes, I didn't know that was a thing," Krystel described her first experience.

"I didn't know that anyone can just cosplay, I thought it was just a job thing. Then I had a friend I met in high school and she would regularly cosplay in conventions. When we met, she asked me if I knew about conventions, cosplaying, and she told me, 'You know you can actually do it yourself."

Encouraged, Krystel went to places far away her comfort zone, hence her decision to go to the chaotic streets of Quiapo to look for her first cosplay outfit and fulfill her plans of dressing up as Mello from Death Note.

PHOTO: JapsWorx Photography

The Quiapo heist

As someone who was unfamiliar about the area, Krystel sought aid from his 'tito,' who brought a motorbike to scour around the vicinity. In circles, they searched for the perfect outfit.

However not everything was smooth sailing, though this didn't deter Krystel as she valued the experience more than anything else. Upon looking back at her first venture in Quiapo, a huge smile appeared.

"So I thrifted an outfit with my uncle sa Quiapo and I had like a Class-A, really bad, shiny wig. Then I went to Comic Alley and bought like a Death Note," she ended with a laugh.

This was a time when Krystel was unfamiliar that cosplay outfits can be customized and made.

But that wasn't the only revelation she discovered, as fans approached her upon entering a convention, only this time with a costume.

"It was a surprise because in cons people asked if 'I could take your photo.' Back then I was still in the puberty, growing up stage so I wasn't really used to getting attention from other people so it was a nice boost of confidence when people go up to you."

Yet deep inside some hints of insecurity remained.

"But it didn't make my head go bigger because I'm like, 'Even with this costume, you're still ugly as f*ck," Krystel laughed.

PHOTO: Eightren Photography

A new beginning

Entering college was definitely a breath of fresh air to Krystel. Gone were the days when she would experience the typical co-ed Catholic school, where strict rules would reign supreme.

Back in high school, Krystel only had to wear specific pair of socks and she was forced to have her hair dyed black despite her genetic code blessing her with natural brown hair.

And as mentioned earlier, she couldn't really express her true personality.

But upon stepping into the halls of College of Saint Benilde, a different culture emerged.

"I was culture shocked with how expressive people are because It's an art school, so you would see a lot of people, both professors and student with colored hair, with tattoos, or dressing up with how they want," she recalled.

This inspired her to fully unleash the real Krystel who is in desperate need to showcase the missing luster in her life. The chains that once bounded her slowly disappeared.

"In college I was more open with being able to show people that I do these things (cosplaying), whereas in high school, I wouldn't tell people about it."

And the more events she attended, the more she embraced her true calling.

"Back in high school I only did it once or twice, while in college I started doing cosplays more frequently and so that's when I got into the community. So I met people outside from my circles in high school and college."

PHOTO: Krystel Cosplay

A gatekeeping community

Yet despite the new environment that boosted her confidence, there will still other barriers she had to contend with.

Cosplaying is a struggle not only because of the financial strain of consuming outfits, but also because of its community.

Krystel admitted that she fancied some characters such as Ahri from League of Legends and the characters in Fate: Grand Order, which boasts a huge fanbase.

And getting the details wrong could stir some negative feedback from the community.

"Some of them can get nitpicky with like how a cosplayer portrays a character. So it was always about other than money, it's always how do I embody this character?" as told by Krystel.

While the cosplay community has a plethora of nitpickers and critics, Krystel shares her sentiments on them.

"For me anyone can cosplay. It can be like a thing that you do as a job, but mostly it's a hobby. As a hobby, you should have fun with it. It's good to put passion and accuracy to your costume, but the biggest thing is to have fun with it."

She added: "We're all just people wearing costumes so I'm not a big fan of people nitpicking especially since you don't know if a person has the budget to do these things."

She once had a personal experience when someone told her that she wasn't built to dress up as Ahri from League of Legends but her response showed her passion for the craft.

"To that I didn't take offense, and I'm like, 'I still want to cosplay this character, it doesn't matter to me if whether or not bagay sa akin yung character. For me, I want to do it because I feel like I can pull off this character," she narrated.

PHOTO: B.A. Photography

How K-pop inspired her

But that wasn't the only struggle she had to contend with as her personal life has also took a dip after some horrific experiences from her past.

She admitted that she was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, and developed a PTSD due to what happened back in college.

Professional counseling did help, however the expenses were too much for her to handle.

So how does she deal with her troubled past? Like the usual narrative in anime, it was her friends who became her source of strength.

One of her closest friends is the powerlifter cosplay, Nyaaati, who she met a few years ago.

Nat's venture into fitness inspired Krystel to do the same, which led to a lifestyle change that mentally shaped her.

But it was also their shared interests in cosplaying and most importantly, K-pop that served as an inspiration for Krystel. Both of them are fans of NCT with Krystel being a fan of Mark while Nat views Haechan as her bias.

"I would also say K-pop would be our biggest support system for each other. We both like the same band."

"We started getting really close because of K-pop and that's how we support each other. We exchange what our biases did. Our Instagram convos is full of K-pop," revealed Krystel.

Nat admires Haechan due to his mischievous personality. But how about Krystel what makes Mark attractive?

"I like Mark because I really like rappers in the K-pop group, and also work ethic-wise because he is in a lot of groups, like three of them for NCT. He also does solo work," she started.

"I like him because he inspires me due to his work ethic. You always see him working on something, but he never shows that he's burned out, never complains about anything."

Like Mark, Krystel has so many things in her life going on, from her dayjob, her cosplaying career, photo shoots, and now her fitness journey. She does admit that she gets burned out, but she keeps on going no matter what.

"I also get burned out in the things I do, so it's inspiring to see someone who does so much but is like well beloved by people and such a good work ethic so I try to integrate that in my life," she revealed.

PHOTO: Roj Miguel

Looking back at her cosplaying journey

Now with a more optimistic output in life, it seems she has finally reached the 'Krystellization' in her journey.

Her confidence in cosplaying has led to more opportunities in her life, which included a venture into video game livestreaming.

But the most important aspect of her journey stem from the community that was formed.

"For me the best part in my journey is really hanging around because a lot of my close friends right now are in the cosplay community so the best part is being around them especially during cons because we do booths in cons," she reflected.

"My favorite part is being able to meet such great people who are a fixture in my life and also supporters I've accumulated because of cosplay."

"They also go to me through booths or interact with my posts on Twitter and stuffs so whenever people or supporters approach me and converse with me saying that they enjoy my content or they simply converse with me, it's a humbling experience."

With such a wholesome experience, Krystel admitted that she would oftentimes shoulder her support to her peers, a role that she embodies even when playing League of Legends.

Ultimately, it was the community who uplifted her spirits.

"Cosplaying definitely help in building my confidence because people go up to you and tell you that you look good even though deep inside you don't feel like you look all that good so I think that confidence in cosplaying these characters started creeping into my actual confidence as a person, with how I look, even with how I act."

And when looking back at her past, it turned out that her bully who once dubbed her 'ugly' back in high school, is now one of her supporters.

"He's always heart reacting, I don't think he remembers bullying me, but I remember his name and his face. Whenever I see him [react], I'm like (laughs)."