We're pretty sure this is common sense, but some people seem to be lacking in that nowadays. If you're one of those people, here's a reality check: Your idols are not your property.
In the cult of celebrity, it's easy to forget that the people we admire are their own people, too. Before they became famous, they were private individuals, just like us. But even after achieving fame, celebrities do not suddenly become public property. Shocker, right? Meeting fans is part of the job, but celebrities are still entitled to their privacy and personal space. Some people don't want to hear this, but we'll scream it from the rooftops if we have to: Performers don't sign away their rights when they sign their contracts; to be frank, they don't owe you anything.
So, as a friendly reminder to fans who don't respect boundaries, here are some fan etiquette rules on how to behave politely and respectfully when you meet someone famous.
1| Don't barge into their dressing rooms. In other words, respect their personal space.
There are assigned spaces for celebrities to meet with fans. Dressing rooms usually aren't one of them. More often than not, events will have holding areas or VIP areas for celebrity meet-and-greets. This is to ensure the security and safety of everyone involved. If, at a regular store, customers aren't allowed behind the cashier, why the heck would they be allowed backstage at, for example, a Broadway show? Barging into anyone's dressing room is just bad manners. Long story short, respect their privacy.
2| Don't be upset when they're annoyed you're disrespecting their boundaries.
We see this way too often: Fans getting pissed when their idols aren't happy their personal space is being invaded. What are they supposed to do, thank you? Celebrities and performers are human beings too, and they have every right to be upset when their boundaries aren't respected. They're not robots-You can't expect them to paste on a smile when people are being rude to them. If you made them upset, don't get mad at them for your own behavior. As the kids say nowadays, fuck around and find out.
3| Don't record them when they're upset.
Are you a fan or a hater? Pick one. Recording in public is good in some cases, like if you're witnessing a crime or abusive behavior. But if you're recording a celebrity just to catch them off guard when they're not acting the way you want them to, how are you different from the paparazzi or a hater? And here we thought fans were meant to be admirers, not bashers.
4| Recognize that "no means no."
Like we said before, celebrities are not public property. You're welcome to support their projects and careers, but in no way does that mean you "bought" them. If you come across your idol at the mall or at their shows, request for permission for a photo or an autograph-don't demand. And if they say no, then learn to accet that. "No means no" applies to every part of life, and if they don't consent to your requests, then respect their decision. Like a normal person.
5| Don't follow them home.
Fans who follow celebrities home jump straight into the stalker category. There's nothing cute about following someone home, regardless of their level of fame. Anyone would be freaked the fuck out by someone showing up on their doorstep. There's a reason why actors and singers invest millions in security-rabid fans are a threat.
6| Don't attack their personal lives.
There's something to be said about the mainstream use of the word "stan." Overzealous fandoms are so normalized that you can't help but feel bad for celebrities whose private lives are torn apart by the people who supposedly support them. Celebrities might as well be stocks at this point with how often stans insist on having a say in their personal lives, from who they date to what they eat. We can't believe we have to say this, but it's actually not okay to attack the personal lives of your idols. Here's a reality check: What they do off the clock is none of your business.
7| Don't send death threats.
Remember what we said about rabid fans? Well, you'd be surprised at how many send death threats to their supposed idols or people they might be in conflict with. There's something disturbingly delusional about that type of behavior. If you know someone who's this fanatic, the only thing we can suggest is to send them to therapy.
8| Ask for permission.
Another reminder that celebrities aren't robots. You can't input a demand and expect a response. No one likes being bossed around. And no matter how much of a big fan you are, good manners dictate that you should ask for permission and consent if you want a photograph, autograph, video message, or even a hug. Asking for permission will cost you nothing but a few seconds of your time, and it might even gain you a warmer response.
9| Ask them how they're doing.
Toxic fan behavior starts when fans stop seeing celebrities/performers as people. Invading personal space and disrespecting boundaries are all hallmarks of objectification. So one simple, effortless way to show someone that you actually care about them and their work is by asking them, honestly and earnestly, "How are you?" It's a gentle reminder to everyone, both celebrity and fan, that we're all just people too.
Tl;dr: There's nothing wrong with being a fan. Just don't be a toxic one.
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