ATENEO coach Tab Baldwin expressed his deepest apologies on Friday following the death of his players Rene Baterbonia and Divine Adili in a training camp drowning incident that police said was an ''accident."
The American-Kiwi mentor held back tears in a video pre-recorded to last just four minutes yet stretched to over eight, seeking forgiveness in the wake of the tragedy that befell the team during its team building in Dipaculao, Aurora.
"To the depth of my being, I'm sorry," said the former Gilas Pilipinas coach as he turned emotional while carrying what he described as 'immense grief, immense sorrow, and immense remorse."
READ: Baterbonia was much more than just Ateneo recruit, AgSur pride
"I've known since the moment that I was told that our boys had passed away, that no matter the magnitude of our grief, there were two families that experienced a loss that was so much greater than ours, and a loss that would stay with them in the most acute way for the remainder of their lives."
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"Never again would Rene's mother and father and family, never again would Divine's family be able to talk to their son or touch their son. Yes, as a coach, I lost my boys, too. Never again would I be able to help them develop into the basketball player they wanted to be, to help them grow into the young man that they promised they could be."
A little bit of clarity
The beleaguered mentor, who has since been placed on an indefinite leave of absence as different government agencies launch probes into the incident, shared bits and pieces of what happened in that heartbreaking incident.
He recounted that the team was sent to a "routine training run in what they thought was shallow water, up to the moment when we realized that whatever had happened, they were in dangerous water."
"And we did everything that we could as coaches, as people responsible for that situation, the players themselves did everything they could to ensure that everybody arrived back on shore safely. And then we realized that we hadn't accomplished that," he said.
As the coach, Baldwin said he tried his best to put on a brave stand in front of the team when they found out about the deaths of Baterbonia and Adili. But he also admitted that he failed to do so, realizing the pain the families will have to endure following these painful losses.
READ: Divine Adili's adviser remembers a gentle giant with big dreams
"I failed as a leader. I felt I had failed as a coach. I certainly felt like I had failed as a friend to Divine and Rene," he said.
"In that moment, I experienced the descent into the darkest place imaginable. And yet I knew at the same time that good people, people that had done an amazing job raising these two young men, were going to be in an even darker, more horrible place. At that moment, I felt I had failed. And when later I faced the team to try to be a leader in that moment, I felt that I failed them too."
As heartbroken as he is in the situation, Baldwin could only implore everyone to continue praying as he continued to ask for forgiveness for this unwanted accident.
"That left me with really the only thing that I've been clinging to for the last several days, that as part of a community of faith, to pray, to pray that the Lord embraces our two boys, to pray that the Lord gives peace, comfort, some sense of sanity to the Baterbonia family and the Adili family. And I continue to beseech everybody that cared for, loves, loved Rene and Divine and their families, please keep praying," he said.
"I think that my voice in prayer is hoarse now, but it will never be enough. So as we all try to move forward without Divine and Rene, I hope that in binding together as a community, as a basketball team, and as a nation, that we lean on the one place that will never let us down. And that is our Lord."
He ended:
"I'm so deeply sorry to not just the families, but everybody that feels let down, somehow betrayed. And I pray that we all find some pathway forward to come back to hope for the future, love for one another, and forgiveness for those of us who failed and tried so desperately hard to reach a better outcome. I wish peace for everybody. I wish comfort for everybody who is hurting. And I pray that we will all find that."
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