CHICAGO - Unless you want to be slapped red on the cheeks or get stabbed by a pointed stiletto heel, don't dare ask a woman her age.
There is no such etiquette among men but there is, however, an unwritten man code that frowns on dating a buddy's ex-girlfriend.
And it's definitely taboo to covet the sweet nectar of another man's wife.
In the NBA, a place inhabited mostly by territorial alpha males, one must not question somebody else's load.
In what Yahoo Sports descried as a "veiled shot at the Los Angeles Clippers," LeBron James did just that.
Through a benign, caressing tone, James touched on the touchy subject during a recent huddle with reporters.
"It doesn't make any sense to me personally," said the Laker king. "I mean, I don't know how many games I've left in my career. I don't how many kids that may show up to a game that are there to see me play."
Huh. Who knew?
LeBron cares about the fans.
This sentiment was echoed originally by New York Yankees legend Joe DiMaggio and embraced genuinely by Celtics great Larry Bird.
DiMaggio and Bird, I believe wholeheartedly.
LeBron? I need a brown bag, please. I want to vomit.
Did the "Chosen One" care about the Ohio kids' feelings of loss when he chose to abandon the Cleveland Cavaliers in July 2010 and elope to Miami to cavort with Dywane Wade and Chris Bosh?
Did LeBron give a damn about the wrecked emotions of grown men who were impossibly hurt by his departure, so much so that jerseys were burned and allegiances that were once held dear were broken?
I get it, though.
Free country. Free choice. Free agent. Free to flee.
I also freely believe that LeBron has always charted his career choices in a way that benefits no one but himself.
FOOD POISONING is often misinterpreted as poison in the food. But selfish must never be misunderstood as selfless.
Which brings me back to load management.
LeBron, I think, continues to play heavy minutes because there are still milestones he wants to reach. He is fourth all-time in points scored with 33,269 and he is 12th in minutes played with 47,207.
Insecure LeBron wants to secure his legacy by climbing higher on both ladders. James will never measure up to Michael Jordan's six championships and six NBA Finals MVP honors.
But when he retires, LeBron wants to rock the chair hoping he at least belongs in the same table as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, another Laker icon who leads both prized categories.
So this obsessive, almost mercenarial, pursuit of titles and statistics are not necessarily about the fans. It's all about LeBron James helping out LeBron James.
In my book, LeBron will never be a better, more beloved Laker than Kobe Bryant. And you can forget about him ever unseating MJ as the greatest of all time.
I wish I can expound more on these topics but given that this is my third column in three days, I really must go now.
SPIN.ph wants to manage my load.
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