CHICAGO - When a product is below standard, tends to malfunction, or breaks easily, the joke is that the poor thing must be "Made in China."
Given that country's hearty appetite for cheap mass production, the stab at humor may be funny, but it also a misnomer.
The fact is, China is an industrial giant that builds great things. The basketball team it sent to the ongoing Asian Games in Jakarta, Indonesia is no exception, designed to withstand hostile, multi-national aggression.
The Chinese squad is sturdy, meticulously assembled, and dangerously battle-tested.
They are taller than presidential special assistant Bong Go's political ambitions. They are young and fresh, a group whose ages range from 22 to 29. They also have championship pedigree, international play experience, and most importantly, the weight of two current NBA players.
At the forefront is 22-year old Zhou Qi who has three years and $4.7 million left in his contract with the Houston Rockets. Picked 43rd overall in the 2016 NBA Draft, the 7-foot-2, 240-pounder has a massive wingspan of just under 7-foot-8.
Although Qi appeared in only 18 NBA games last season, clocking mostly garbage minutes, he has a history of beastly outbursts.
In the semifinals of the 2011 TBF International Under-16 Tournament, Qi torched the Germans for 41 points, 28 rebounds and 15 blocks. He was a little more modest in the championship game, leading China's gold medal romp over Turkey with 30 points, 17 boards and eight blocks, according to Wikipedia.

Ding Yanyuhang, a 6-foot-7, 205-pound guard, is the other NBAer. Once a stalwart for the Shandong Golden Stars of the Chinese Basketball Association, Yanyuhang was a two-time CBA Domestic MVP and the 2017 CBA All-Star MVP.
Ding, who led China to a golden finish in the 2015 FIBA Asia Championship, played for the Mavericks in the 2017 NBA Summer League in Las Vegas where he heard "MVP! MVP!!" chants in the quarterfinal match against the Boston Celtics.
Per basketballreference.com, on July 23 this year, Dallas inked the 24-year old to a non-guaranteed one-year deal worth $838,464.
SADLY for the rest of the field, China's firepower is not limited to Qi and Ding.
Wang Zhelin, 24, was selected 57th overall by the Memphis Grizzlies in the 2016 NBA Draft. And though he wasn't signed to a contract, he turned out to be a stud for the Fujan Sturgeons.
The 7-foot, 270-pound center was named CBA Rookie of the Year in 2013 and he averaged 21.8 points and 11.2 rebounds in the 2016-17 season, cementing his fourth All-Star nod.
Abudushlamo Abudurexiti, 22, is another lethal weapon. A member of China's Uighir ethnic minority group, the 6-foot-8, 187-pound small forward cut his teeth with the Chinese national team before excelling with the Xinjiang Flying Tigers
Last May, as he prepared for the 2018 NBA draft, The Athletic reported that Abudurexiti worked out for eight teams in 14 days. Among those who showed interest were the Los Angeles Lakers.
So how does our Philippine team measure up against the Chinese?
Honestly, not good at all.
Which is why coach Yeng Guiao told SPIN.ph that the odds against them were "100-to-1" before climbing slightly up to "100-to-20" with the addition Fil-Am Jordan Clarkson of the Cleveland Cavaliers.
Unlike the young Chinese whose average age is 24.6, our team is made up mostly of old, recycled assets that have passed their prime. Our youngest player is Clarkson at 26 while our oldest is Asi Taulava, who at 45, is five years away from a senior citizen discount.
We also have four players aged 29 and five who are at least 31, including James Yap, 36.
COMPARED to the Chinese, who parade a pair of 7-footers and three dudes who are at least 6-foot-8, our tallest player is Taulava at 6-foot-9. We have six guys who are 6-foot-6 and shorter, while our shortest member is Chris Tiu at 5-foot-11.
The task of beating China this coming Tuesday reminds me of a movie I just saw: Mission: Impossible - Fallout.
Like Tom Cruise's character, Ethan Hunt, I hope coach Guiao will "figure it out" and pull off the mind-blowing caper.
I don't want to root against Gilas. To do so would be unpatriotic.
But I don't want to bet against the Chinese, either. To do so would be unwise.
Get more of the latest sports news & updates on SPIN.ph